Goals

Wow, guess I better update my blog as it's been awhile since I last posted. We went on a trip of a life time and surprised the kids to a trip to Disney.  I will have to post about that another time.   I have been reflecting on what goals I have for 2019.  These are in no particular order:

1)  I want to make more time to take care of me which may mean napping during the day as I don't sleep through the night and have not for the past 2 yrs.  We recently bought a second hand treadmill so this also means making time to get in some sort of exercise on a regular basis.  It also means I make more time for coffee with various people to make sure I get the socializing needed.  friendships have changed a lot since I have been back and I am still trying to figure out who my people are here.  I am thankful for the new friendships that I have been forming this yr and the old friendships that have picked right back up from where we left off.

2)  This past yr I tried to be as gluten free and sugar free as I could but I cheated at times and boy did it affect me.  So this yr I really want to be better disciplined in this area.

I have been dealing with some pretty horrible pain in my gut on and off for the last 2 months or so.  I have had nights I've been on my couch in tears, nights I am in a fetal position in my bed cradling a pillow in pain.  There's days I stay home from church or other functions because of the pain.  My GI specialist suggested I stop eating during the day and they increase my calories in my TPN bag I get at night so that my gut gets some rest. This would be for a short period of time but then we'd have to slowly add in a different food at a time. However, I cook for my family and I want to be able to eat too.  And I worry that my digestive system will forget how to function if I stop all together.  For those of you who don't know TPN goes into my blood stream and bypasses my gut.  TPN has allowed me to gain weight.  Where I once was a twig with no muscle I now can fill out a pair of jeans ok.  That said the TPN does not help with the pain and gi issues and pain.

I told my Dr that I wanted to wait till after Christmas to decide if I will stop eating for awhile or not.  So I want to watch what I eat this next yr.  And in that I really want to do a better job of providing my family with healthy options to eat.  Due to my medical situation I can't eat all the high fiber, raw veggies and fruits, nuts and lentils, healthy grains like quinoa etc.  So some times I don't branch out to make healthy meals for my family and then meals for me.  But I have seen the negative affects sugar and too many cards has on my one kiddo in particular and I really want to enter 2019 with enthusiasm to meal plan and prep, to cook healthier options with more veggies for my family and to not feel like cooking is such a daunting experience for me.

3)  I have been feeling a quiet nudge from the Lord to wake up before my kids, to invest in my time with HIM daily but also for my kids to see me in the Word.  It can be easy to do my devotions when the kids are at school or in bed but if I want to model a relationship with Jesus I also need to help my kids see what that could look like to spend quiet time with Jesus.  Isaiah 50:4b "Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught."

4)  Along with number 3 I have been hungry for more of the Lord's presence, peace, and power of the Holy Spirit in my life.  I miss being overseas and surrounded by people gathering around each other in prophetic prayer.  I miss being in a time of worship where I am feeling free to dance, cry and even flag if one was available.  I crave His presence and power in my life and those around me.  I miss being able to see and hear about personal healing stories or where people had dreams and visions of Jesus present with them.  In a thirst for MORE I gathered together with a group of ladies in town who share a similar heart for MORE of the Holy Spirit and for prophetic prayer.  We gather once a month and this group of ladies and time together has been healing and refreshing.  In 2019 I look forward to continuing our time together and growing as a group.  My desire for 2019 is to see this spill over into the lives of those around me and for my little family to be blown away and awed by the Holy Spirit in each of our lives.  I plan to attend a Set Free conference later in January.  I have been trained and walked through Neil T Anderson's STEPS TO FREEDOM IN CHRIST yrs ago but I feel like after cancer and our move here there are more areas of my life that need to be yielded to God or that I need to have freedom in.  So I look forward to this and I long for my oldest kiddo to go to the one for his age later in Feb.  So FREEDOM and HEALING from the trauma we've all walked through in the last 2 yrs is something I long to experience fully in 2019.

5)  2019 means my little girl will go to school 2 to 3 times a week till June and in the fall she will go full time so this allows me more time to take care of me and my home.  I am not an organized person and I am realizing more and more how if I was this would take some of the stress of things off of my shoulders.  Mess and clutter stresses me out.  So in 2019 I want to be more organized.  Organized in my house, cupboards, with meal planning, etc.  I want to live more simply and to really de-clutter.  As a side note:  THOSE OF YOU WHO TRY TO LIVE MINIMALLY OR WITH ZERO WASTE WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE A CRAFTY CHILD WHO LEAVES THEIR CRAFTS ALL OVER THE HOUSE?  Stuff does not make me happy, quality time with my little family does...at least those times when the kids are getting along. 😄

6)  I started the journal Bibles for my kids last yr but I did not finish.  This year I have a goal to read through the Bible in a year and I will be doing this in their journal Bibles (that I plan to give them when they get baptized or graduate as a surprise).  I want to take more time to write the kids letters and put them in a special spot, record me singing some of the songs I sing to them at night and just make sure that I leave a legacy behind for them.

7)  I am not much of a reader but I have a couple books I started to read that I would really like to finish.  One yr ago I started a little side home business and I desire to grow in that as well.  To read books and to continue to grow in my own character as a leader.  I have been enjoying the education part of it and being able to get my product basically paid for has been a bonus.  I enjoy making changes in my home and providing safer options for each of us.  Though there are still more changes to be made.  I have been enjoying the connection with people as I help them on their own wellness journeys.  It is like my own little ministry where I get to listen to people, help them out and pray for them.  I love that.

Along with that I hope to begin taking steps to pursuing my dream of being a life coach or spiritual director.

8)  I desire to invest more in my marriage. To learn to communicate better, to date more, to laugh together more.  JOY...Something I really want to live in and experience more of in 2019. I desire to work on the areas in my parenting that need work.  I long to be a better, more patient and gentler mom.  A mom who can sit with the uncomfortable and validate my kid's feelings and emotions better.  I long to be a mom who is more capable.  I am tired of being the sick mom.

I am sure I could go no but I will this it at this for now.

What are some goals you have for 2019?