Covid 19 came and forced me into being a homeschooling mom, while finishing up my first year of classes. I did some homeschooling when we lived overseas and to be honest I much preferred the material I used with my son back when he was in grade 1 rather than the online work I was supposed to help my daughter (who was now in grade 1) with this time around. If a 2nd wave comes and we need to homeschool again in the fall I may have to look into the SONLIGHT material again and use that material instead.
I did not enjoy homeschooling. My daughter had a hard time seeing me as mom and teacher and struggled to decipher the difference. She missed socializing with her peers and having the regular school routine. My son on the other hand enjoyed it. He was diligent to wake up early and get everything done before 9:30 am for the day. He enjoyed not having to connect with some of the kids who aren't always kind to him at school and enjoyed going for bike rides or hanging out and strengthening the friendships he does have (while social distancing). This past school year I was getting used to having both kids in full time school and was able to had time to rest, work on school, catch up on my house chores and to do lists. I was pretty consistent with making sure I was laying on the couch a half hour before the kids arrived home so I could rest, pray and really just get my mind and heart ready to prepare for their arrival off of the bus. Covid meant that I had so little alone time for me. At best I function at 80% most days but these past few months there were days I was only functioning at 50% and that didn't help with the stress in our home. School ended on the 12th of June and already the environment around here is way better.
Even though it wasn't perfect I look back and am thankful for the family times we had around the table. I am thankful for all the family games, bike rides, movies watched and memories made together. I really enjoyed not having to be busy driving from one place to another. I really don't want life to get crazy busy again. However, last night was the first time we gathered around a fire with a friends and it was so wonderful to feel like life was normal again. We met a family we hadn't met before. As we gathered around the fire they started asking questions to get to know us. We ended up sharing stories about our time in West Asia, sharing how people loved on us over there, how God clearly called us there and paved the way for our every move to get there, paved the way to get the best care for my cancer as well as how he continues to lead us even today. We shared about my heart and passion for Spiritual Direction and how the Lord clearly confirmed that as my calling. As we shared I was overwhelmed by the goodness of the Lord and how faithful He has been. I am so thankful for all the ways we have experienced God's presence, voice, and calling and love for us over the years.
Last week marked 3 years since we landed back in Canada as well as marking 2 years since I have been on TPN (still doing 3 nights a week and in 3 years I have gone from 77 lbs to 94 lbs). When I look at where I am now it can be easy to feel discouraged and like my body is no where near where doctors told me it would be at this point in time. However, when I look back at how bad things were 3 years ago, or even 2 years ago, I do see improvements. I do see increased energy and my body is figuring out a new normal with the TPN, all my meds I take daily to aid in the short bowel syndrome, as well as the new supplements I am taking to help with my body absorbing nutrients and minerals and they have also really helped my Thyroid levels (and other blood work levels) to finally get into the normal range for the first time in 3 years. 3 years ago we didn't think I'd still be alive today. So we rejoice that at this point I am still cancer free or NED (no evidence of disease) and I walk into my CT scan on July 2nd with hope that it will be a clear scan.
When I reflect on my faith I see how the deep/dark/scary valley of the shadow of death caused me to fix my eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfecter of my faith. I am not someone who can easily debate faith, religions, theology, or other hot topics. I am not up on apologetics. But what I can tell you is that all that I have had to walk through has only deepened my faith and my resolve to follow Jesus. All I have been dealt in life has only increased my compassion and love for others and my desire to walk alongside others in their own grief and spiritual journeys. All I have experienced has only opened my eyes to all the ways God has lavished His love on me and NEVER left my side through it all. They ways I have experienced God in my life has given me an increased passion to pray that others around me would experience Him for themselves rather than just read about Him in the Bible. It's one thing to know about God and another thing to truly KNOW Him and experience His presence and His love for you.
In May of this year I finished my first year of the School of SPIRITUAL DIRECTION. If you look back at one of my posts from last summer you will hear how God spoke to me and confirmed this direction after I had a weekend watching my monarch caterpillars emerge from their chrysalises as amazing butterflies. I was overjoyed this past week to notice 3 little caterpillars starting to munch on my milkweed this year. It's been an amazing year and I have grown so much in my gifting/calling and ability to contemplate the presence of Jesus as well as learning how to better walk alongside others on their journeys. If you want to know more about Spiritual Direction or know someone who might be interested in some sessions with me please check out my website: www.midwifetothesoul.wordpress.com
This summer we had hoped we would be able to go on a road trip to see the Grand Canyon as well as make our way down to California to see dear friends who used to live in our neighborhood with us when we lived overseas. However, thanks to Covid and closed borders we won't be doing any travel of that kind. Instead we decided to rediscover our own province and had enjoyed a couple of day trips so far this month. We plan to hopefully head up north later this summer to see my family and enjoy some of the beauty of the north with the waterfalls, fishing and my dad's cabin. We take things day by day and hold our plans lightly. The kids have been so disappointed with so many fun activities and special dates being canceled that we know that we have to hold plans loosely these days. We also have bought a new house and move in come October. This house has truly been a gift and a blessing these past 3 years. Yet we are excited about our move and have already started to declutter and think about packing up. We look forward to a yard that backs out on to the river. Through Covid I realized once again how much nature is calming for my soul and a great way that I connect with Jesus. I look forward to nights watching sunsets, being amazed at the star-filled skies and opportunities to skate on the river when it freezes in the winter.
