Spring

Spring is starting to arrive.  Yesterday was beautiful.  I have been enjoying watching the Blue Jay in my back yard, hearing the birds chirp, feeling the sunshine on my skin and going for a little walk with my kiddos while they are on their scooters.  Spring...a new season.  Last year I feel like I missed out on Spring.  I was finally out of the hospital but I was still healing.  My family was out to help us pack up our apartment and to help take care of the kiddos while I spent the time resting, healing, going to doctor appointments, and trying really hard to get strong enough to get on the plane to fly and move back to Canada.  Some how it feels like last Spring just flew by and I missed out.  However it's a new season and I feel stronger than I did a yr ago.  I still lack a lot of energy but I now am able to ride my bike with my son for a short bike ride or walk alongside my little girl on her scooter.  I am able to sit and enjoy the Canadian geese standing outside the window rather than laying in bed feeling miserable and wondering if life would ever get better which is what I did a yr ago.  So there is hope.  Spring reminds me of HOPE, of newness and life.  So I am praying that the Lord will met me in a special way this season.  I had coffee with someone this week and just realized how much of "in a funk" I was feeling.  Purpose, I long for purpose.  The Lord has decided He's not ready to take me HOME yet so I am just wondering what my PURPOSE is here on earth.  Yes, I am here to be a light, a testimony of Jesus' love, healing and presence.  But how does that shine through my every day life?  I am not sure.  I do find it interesting that I have had the privilege of walking alongside a couple people in their grief over the loss of a loved one in their life since I have been back to Canada.  I count that a privilege because grief is so real and raw and hard and not everyone gets it.  Not everyone is willing to talk about death and loss and love and life like that.

I have been behind in my blogging.  Life has been busy.  We visited my family for Easter and I enjoyed connecting with my 98 yr old Grandpa.  Then we celebrated my son's birthday and well life just got busy.  But I really do want to continue to write out my "story" for my family to have.  So many ideas or what to write, just got to figure out where to start.  Some stories will be written down but not put on the blog as they are too intimate to put out there on the world wide web at this point but I want me kids to have my WHOLE story...the good, the painful parts, the bad, the ugly, the joyfilled parts...the truth.  If I were to ever pass away I want them to have stories so that they can remember who I was and how Christ grabbed ahold of broken me and transformed me into HIS likeness.