So it all started last September (2016). I was tired, not feeling well, felt like my hair was starting to fall out a bit and after talking to a friend who was wrestling with 7 different auto-immune diseases I figured I should go see my endocrinologist and get my thyroid levels checked again. After some blood work and the 3 hr fasting test I was told my hypothyroidism has moved into Hoshimoto's (auto-immune) and that I had Reactive Hypoglycemia. The news of this stressed me out. Why? Well I researched how I should eat. One diet said to avoid foods like potatoes, and white rice and things that would spike my blood sugar. It suggested eating lots of broccoli and cauliflower and foods in the cruciferous family. The other diet said to avoid or really limit foods in the cruciferous family. Some things one diet said to eat and the other diet said to avoid. I was stressed and for 36 hrs after diagnosis my hands and feet were numb. Later I realized it was from stress. Thankfully a close friend of mine also had the same diagnosis a few yrs prior so she was willing to help me figure out what I could or couldn't eat. She answered MANY of my questions. We lived overseas at this time so I had to try to figure out how to read food labels in the local language as well and to learn how to cook more from scratch. I began to lose weight as I basically cut out or really limit my sugars and sweets and I tried to go gluten free. I went from 117 down to about 110 or less by the end of the year. At first I felt good as the stubborn love handles were gone and I felt good about myself as I was working out and working on being healthy through diet and exercise. But then the weight kept coming off and one day my wedding ring fell off in the clothing store. I guess that's when I realized I had been losing too much weight.
But then I noticed if I ate some sweets I would get some pains in my gut. One day, at the gym, I almost felt like passing out and I had some sharp pains in my gut and had to go home early. We went to a dinner theater one night I think in late November or early December with dear friends of ours. By now I was having more of these painful attacks and my friend looked at me and said, "Rebekah I am concerned and think they have misdiagnosed you. What is there is something else wrong instead?"
December 6, 2017 I had a lot of pain in my gut. I felt constipated and bloated. My hubby ran out to the pharmacy to get me laxatives in an effort to help me sleep. That next day I hopped into a taxi with 2 of my friends to go to the other side of the city as we shared a hotel and attended a 3 day seminar on Life Coaching Training. I was in pain. The pain was under my ribs and throughout those 3 days of training I was often found sitting in the chair holding my hand over my diaphragm. Some people suggested perhaps I had an ulcer or something so my dear friends went with me to the ER one evening. It wasn't the nicest hospital. And because it was at night they couldn't take an x-ray or scan. So I was given pain meds for 3 hrs and eventually was told it was gastritis. I couldn't sleep due to the pain and after the training, once home, I ended up back in the E.R as the pain was only increasing. I heard loud noises going on in my intestines and wasn't sure what was up. Thankfully where we lived it was never a long wait to get into a hospital bed in the ER. I had a topography ct scan and was told I had some small kidney stones. So off I went home, assuming this was the cause and hoping they'd eventually pass.
I was already seeing a dietitian about how I could figure out the best way to eat for the Hypoglycemia and the Hoshimoto's. She didn't like that I was losing weight so together in her Broken English and my Broken Tsh we tried to figure out a plan for what I could eat. Now with the news of kidney stones there were new foods I needed to avoid and new ones I needed to eat. I have never enjoyed cooking and so having to constantly figure out all these dietary needs was stressful. Looking back I am sure that stress didn't help my health at the time.
I was back in the ER later in December as one day I had puked about 15 times and had the runs real bad. My hubby was on the other side of the city. A friend came with me to the ER in a taxi as I could barely walk out the door by myself and was thankful I had a bucket along with me in the taxi. After spending a day in the ER, and having to give a stool sample, I was told that there was a lot of mucus found in the stool sample which meant I had a bowel infection. Now looking back, and understanding my type of cancer, that mucus could have been a sign that there was something else wrong but I didn't see a Gastroenterologist at the time. My dear friend sat with me that whole day. She was the same one who a few weeks earlier wondered if I was misdiagnosed.
I went home with antibiotics but still dealt with the pain, the runs, the noises in my intestines, the sharp pains and the nausea at times. I couldn't sleep at night as I was writhing in pain most of the nights. I saw a urologist and he assured me that the kidney stones I had were so small and they shouldn't be the cause of the pain I was having. I went back to the ER once again because the pain was only getting worse. It was here they told me I should see a Gastroenterologist.
So in January I saw one. I am thankful things moved fast in that country. Within days she performed an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. She was wondering if I had IBS or Crones but in the end she said the only abnormal thing she found was a small stricture where the large intestine connected with the small intestine. She did a biopsy and ordered and MRI just to make sure. The biopsy came back clear. The MRI didn't show anything abnormal (since then I have come to learn that this cancer doesn't normally show up on MRI's and other scans at times). I knew I was born with some bowel issues so just guessed perhaps that stricture was something I was born with. Later I realize that stricture is what was causing a lot of pain as well because foods couldn't travel through so easily through that narrow opening. After a few more days I saw the Dr. again and said, "There must be something wrong. I am in so much pain. Could it be endometriosis or issues with my gull bladder?" So she sent me to the best Ultrasound Tech that she knew. When I look back and see how many tests and hospital visits I had in just over a month before my cancer was found I am so so thankful that I was not living in Canada at the time. Things moved so much faster there and overall I had great care.
January 19th, during the ultrasound, the Tech told me my kidneys were clear, no sign of any stones but then he noticed my appendix was appearing on the screen like a bulls-eye which was a sure sign of appendicitis. I was unable to go home that day. Instead I ended up having an emergency appendectomy. Finally, I thought, finally this must have been the cause of my pain all this time. Well when the Dr. came to see me he informed me that my appendix looked abnormal. Remember he was telling me this in his broken English and his Tsh so I was trying to ask questions and understand all the mdical terminology. He also explained that part of my small intestine looked abnormal as well from the outside, which is where that stricture was. They sent it away to pathology and I went home to heal up from my surgery not thinking too much about it. When I went in for a routine check-up a week later my hubby stopped at the coffee shop in the hospital to grab a coffee and I headed into the office to get my bandages removed and find out the results of the pathology.
We had tickets purchased to watch "La La Land." We were gonna go watch it after I saw the Dr. I asked the Dr. how things were and he said, "Well, it was abnormal and a tumor was found." In shock I asked him to wait until I could find my husband. Together we learned that I had cancer. It was an appendix cancer called Goblet Cell Carcinoid Cancer. It had infilterated my appendix and was moving into my small intestine, thus causing the stricture. At first they told me it was a slow growing kind. I realize that the Tsh people usually don't like to tell you how bad something is at first. We were shocked. If anyone in our family was gonna get cancer we had thought it would be my husband (due to family history of cancer) and not me. Because things move fast they told me they'd like to do a further surgery a week later. It was called a Right Hemicoloctomy where they would remove part of my colon and some of my small intestine and part of my omentum in an attempt to try to remove any residual cancer.
So after not fully recovering from my first surgery (the appendectomy) I was back under the knife for another laparoscopic surgery. I was amazed that they could remove that much of my intestines and omentum laparoscopicly. I was in the hospital for 4 days or so recovering and waiting for my intestines to learn how to work again now that they had been shortened and reconnected. It was here I felt Jesus really near to me. I wrote about it on my other blog (see that post below) but through His Word, prophetic pictures, and other people I really felt He was speaking to me and giving me assurance of His presence with me in this. My mother-in-law came to help out with the kids and our home while I was in the hospital. We were given many gifts of meals, finances to help out with gas, expenses, etc. We felt blessed. Our local friends were there to see me before I was wheeled in for surgery and came to see me after. They wanted to be my family and help take care of me too. I bounced back from that particular surgery really quick. I was told it could take months before my bowels would become "normal" again and within a week or so things were back to normal. I was walking around and gaining strength. When we asked the doctors if they noticed anything abnormal when they did this surgery they said no and assured me they felt they had "got it all."
But then we got the pathology results from that surgery and learned that this cancer actually was an aggressive appendix cancer that behaved like a carcinoma. And even though the Pet scan said there was no cancer the pathology report suggested there was still cancer beyond the surgical borders and I would need to do something more to stop it from spreading. We were blessed to have a landlord who used to work in the States at MD Anderson translating pathology reports. He helped us understand that there was still cancer in me and I needed to look into chemo. Now down to about 100 lbs and feeling like things were moving so fast I couldn't even really process what all was happening to me, to us. I was faced with the reality that this cancer journey wasn't over yet. Thus began investigating and research into next steps.....(blog post #2 to come)
Here is what I wrote on my old blog:
Taste and See
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." NIV
"Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh the joys of those who take refuge in him!"NLT Ps 34:8
At the beginning of the yr. I asked Jesus what verse or word He had for me this yr. This was one of the things He gave me. This verse. To be honest it was the first part of the verse he gave but as I looked up the reference right now to write down I noted the second part. There have been some joys along this journey as I have focused on his GOODNESS.
As you've seen from the two posts below this food, diet, etc has been tough for me. I've lost 20 lbs. I had so much pain I couldn't eat well and then there was the cancer. But this verse keeps coming to mind. It's like the Father keeps asking me to remember His GOODNESS in all of this difficulty. To find things to be thankful for. And this week as I had to wait 4 days post surgery (due to healing) to finally get my first taste of real food (but not so desired bland soup) I realized that in those 4 days of hunger pains it was a time the Father wanted me to be sustained by HIM not food. That He will satisfy me. I had parts of my bowels removed so the doctors wanted to make sure things were functioning right before they would let me eat. Each day is a milestone when I can go from drinking 2 cups of water in 24 hrs to 4 cups of water, to having compost and yucky yogurt soup. Hopefully tomorrow's food will be a little more exciting.
Trev bought me a journal to write in about this cancer journey. It is a place where I write verses, songs and promises I have been given. It's where I write a list of things I am thankful for and where I take note of the Father's goodness amidst this trial.
Before my surgery someone prayed we'd have spiritual eyes to see the angels surrounding us just like Elisha did in the OT. To be honest I have seen and felt the army of angels in human form...all of you, rise up around us. As we sent out the update letter informing many of the cancer SO SO many wrote back saying they were praying. Many people asked their prayer groups to pray for me, many people all over the world, many I don't know, are praying for me and my family. So humbling, so encouraging. And I have felt that prayer support literally rise up around me/us.
Our local and foreign friends in this city have become like family. Quickly a meal train was put together for 10 days. Friends band together to help make a plan for child care. Many people gathered to pray for us. We had our local fellowship anoint me and pray for healing as well as our main fellowship from back home (via skype...PTL for technology). Then yes there is all the family and friends back home who have been praying as well. My Mother-in-law just arrived today for 2 weeks to come alongside us and help out where needed. We feel loved and NOT alone. Our local friends realize we don't have family here so they want to step in and be that family and keep telling us IF WE EVER NEED ANYTHING TO LET THEM KNOW! We feel carried.
I would like to note a few ways He's been speaking. The week leading up to the surgery many songs and images were coming to mind about HIM being my anchor in this storm. I was reminded of my dad's tattoo of an anchor and I saw myself sitting on the anchor and just clinging to it. I asked him to draw me a picture of that and he did. People would pray for me and would see a picture of an anchor and without knowing how God was speaking we would just laugh at the point the Father was trying to get across. This was a storm. But He had me and I needed to cling to HIM. I needed to keep my eyes on HIM not the storm.
Today my Mother-in-law said that someone from home gave her money to buy my a rose. Well our local friend told us that at our fellowship today they all ended up on their knees or faces praying for our family and he felt he saw JC coming to me and giving me a rose for healing. The day of surgery I asked JC where he was in the room. I saw him sitting on my bed rubbing my feet. Last night some friends came by. One friend who did not know about this, asked if she could rub my feet with some lotion. I imagined an angel coming behind the Doctor and performing the surgery through him. A friend said that as she prayed for me she felt she saw angels dancing around my hospital bed.
It is the little things that make a difference. It's in focusing on HIS goodness that I find strength and peace. I continue to ask the Father to take this situation and use it for HIS glory. I am fully aware that if this happened 3-4 yrs ago I would be so broken right now. But 4 yrs ago, after my last miscarriage my faith felt like it was nearly shattered and in pieces. I felt like my prayers were hitting the wall. It took two yrs of JC lovingly, and gently putting the pieces back together. He brought about healing and restoration over time. And because of that work that He did I am stronger today and able to face this storm in life with more of a fight and desire to keep my eyes on HIM not on the storm.
No matter how this ends my desire is to say that I have fought the good fight, finished the race and KEPT THE FAITH. I desire to know that when it's time for the Father to call me home it will be when I know that my children are strong in their own faith walks. So because of that I am asking Him to not take me home to heaven now. I'm not ready. I want to make sure my kids know their anchor well before that happens.
Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I finally get this verse. If I think about the future, about what might be next I worry. But if I focus on today, on healing, on the peace that passes all understanding that I am experiencing, on the family and friends that are loving us so much and on the Father's goodness then I am more at peace. So here's for taking life one day at a time.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh the joys of those who take refuge in him!"NLT Ps 34:8
At the beginning of the yr. I asked Jesus what verse or word He had for me this yr. This was one of the things He gave me. This verse. To be honest it was the first part of the verse he gave but as I looked up the reference right now to write down I noted the second part. There have been some joys along this journey as I have focused on his GOODNESS.
As you've seen from the two posts below this food, diet, etc has been tough for me. I've lost 20 lbs. I had so much pain I couldn't eat well and then there was the cancer. But this verse keeps coming to mind. It's like the Father keeps asking me to remember His GOODNESS in all of this difficulty. To find things to be thankful for. And this week as I had to wait 4 days post surgery (due to healing) to finally get my first taste of real food (but not so desired bland soup) I realized that in those 4 days of hunger pains it was a time the Father wanted me to be sustained by HIM not food. That He will satisfy me. I had parts of my bowels removed so the doctors wanted to make sure things were functioning right before they would let me eat. Each day is a milestone when I can go from drinking 2 cups of water in 24 hrs to 4 cups of water, to having compost and yucky yogurt soup. Hopefully tomorrow's food will be a little more exciting.
Trev bought me a journal to write in about this cancer journey. It is a place where I write verses, songs and promises I have been given. It's where I write a list of things I am thankful for and where I take note of the Father's goodness amidst this trial.
Before my surgery someone prayed we'd have spiritual eyes to see the angels surrounding us just like Elisha did in the OT. To be honest I have seen and felt the army of angels in human form...all of you, rise up around us. As we sent out the update letter informing many of the cancer SO SO many wrote back saying they were praying. Many people asked their prayer groups to pray for me, many people all over the world, many I don't know, are praying for me and my family. So humbling, so encouraging. And I have felt that prayer support literally rise up around me/us.
Our local and foreign friends in this city have become like family. Quickly a meal train was put together for 10 days. Friends band together to help make a plan for child care. Many people gathered to pray for us. We had our local fellowship anoint me and pray for healing as well as our main fellowship from back home (via skype...PTL for technology). Then yes there is all the family and friends back home who have been praying as well. My Mother-in-law just arrived today for 2 weeks to come alongside us and help out where needed. We feel loved and NOT alone. Our local friends realize we don't have family here so they want to step in and be that family and keep telling us IF WE EVER NEED ANYTHING TO LET THEM KNOW! We feel carried.
I would like to note a few ways He's been speaking. The week leading up to the surgery many songs and images were coming to mind about HIM being my anchor in this storm. I was reminded of my dad's tattoo of an anchor and I saw myself sitting on the anchor and just clinging to it. I asked him to draw me a picture of that and he did. People would pray for me and would see a picture of an anchor and without knowing how God was speaking we would just laugh at the point the Father was trying to get across. This was a storm. But He had me and I needed to cling to HIM. I needed to keep my eyes on HIM not the storm.
Today my Mother-in-law said that someone from home gave her money to buy my a rose. Well our local friend told us that at our fellowship today they all ended up on their knees or faces praying for our family and he felt he saw JC coming to me and giving me a rose for healing. The day of surgery I asked JC where he was in the room. I saw him sitting on my bed rubbing my feet. Last night some friends came by. One friend who did not know about this, asked if she could rub my feet with some lotion. I imagined an angel coming behind the Doctor and performing the surgery through him. A friend said that as she prayed for me she felt she saw angels dancing around my hospital bed.
It is the little things that make a difference. It's in focusing on HIS goodness that I find strength and peace. I continue to ask the Father to take this situation and use it for HIS glory. I am fully aware that if this happened 3-4 yrs ago I would be so broken right now. But 4 yrs ago, after my last miscarriage my faith felt like it was nearly shattered and in pieces. I felt like my prayers were hitting the wall. It took two yrs of JC lovingly, and gently putting the pieces back together. He brought about healing and restoration over time. And because of that work that He did I am stronger today and able to face this storm in life with more of a fight and desire to keep my eyes on HIM not on the storm.
No matter how this ends my desire is to say that I have fought the good fight, finished the race and KEPT THE FAITH. I desire to know that when it's time for the Father to call me home it will be when I know that my children are strong in their own faith walks. So because of that I am asking Him to not take me home to heaven now. I'm not ready. I want to make sure my kids know their anchor well before that happens.
Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I finally get this verse. If I think about the future, about what might be next I worry. But if I focus on today, on healing, on the peace that passes all understanding that I am experiencing, on the family and friends that are loving us so much and on the Father's goodness then I am more at peace. So here's for taking life one day at a time.
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